The National Health -Curing The Walking Dead

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Available FREE on iTunes and Podbean


On this episode of Ungagged we will be hearing from Victoria Pearson, Red Raiph, Debra TorranceGeorge Collins, and Nick Durie on the subject of national health, Dr Bruce Scott on free association, and Eric Joyce on bad chemicals. We’ll have Neil Scott with a piece called “Happy 40th Birthday 2000AD, some of your dystopian characters are in power,” Chuck Hamilton commenting on both Standing Rock and the NHS, and an Independence Live interview with Simon Malzer from Inform Scotland.

With music from Girobabies, Gerry Mulvenna, Roy MøllerThose Unfortunates, Joe Bone & The Dark Vibes, The Eastern Swell, St Christopher MedalDefences and Here are The Young men and the Argonauts.



Joe Bone & The Dark Vibes

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Joe Bone & The Dark Vibes


Joe Bone & The Dark Vibes are a 6 piece alternative rock outfit from Glasgow Scotland, writing and performing their own unique style of alternative music.

Their 1st ep featured The Very Rev D Wayne Love of The Alabama 3. They are quoted as one of the best live acts in Scotland.

“It’s Music with an edge. Joe Bone sounds to me like a Scottish Dr John for the 21st Century.”

          -Tom Robinson, BBC

You can follow Joe Bone & The Dark Vibes on facebook, find out more on their website, or follow Joe on twitter.

Nick Durie

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Nick Durie

Nick is a socialist in his thirties who lives in Maryhill, Glasgow. Most of the political work he has done has been around housing and community issues. He is a trained community organiser, and worked professionally for London Citizens on their housing campaign throughout 2010-2011.

Over the years his work has helped to save a housing scheme of 3000 homes from demolition, contributed to winning the first major urban community land trust in inner London, helped secure a new playpark worth a quarter of a million pounds, helped to win new lifts in three tower blocks worth three quarters of a million pounds, helped to secure a new heating tariff for poor residents in the Wyndford housing scheme in Maryhill, as well as to win many dozens of casework and campaigning victories over the years. Along the way, Nick has found and catalysed dozens of new community leaders into taking public action and leading local organisation.

Nick was active during the 2014 Scottish independence referendum campaign: in the run up to 2014 Nick held around 5000 doorstep conversations with voters in his area, and organising for teams of volunteers to extensively canvass all of the major schemes of Maryhill, and the Possilpark neighbourhood. He remains active in the wider YES movement and is a member of the SNP. Nick was also active in securing working class, strongly YES voting Maryhill’s 78% remain vote in June 2016.

Nick is a father to two young children. He can usually be seen down the local gym, and has a strong interest in physical culture and working out, gardening and plants, hillwalking, running, swimming and outdoor pursuits.

You can contact Nick here:


Steven Purcell

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Steven Purcell

Steven is the former Labour Leader of Glasgow City Council. (2005-2010)

Steven is one of the few recognisable faces of Labour who backed a Yes vote in Scotland’s 2014 Independence Referendum.
Convener of Development & Regeneration(1999 – 2003) and then appointed Convener of Education for the City (2003 – 2005).

As Leader of Scotland’s largest local authority from 2005 to 2010, at age 32, instrumental in winning the Commonwealth Games for Glasgow in 2014. Introduced the Glasgow Living Wage, (the first City in the UK to do so) and secured a historic number of apprenticeships between the public and private sector, offering school-leavers and others a route into meaningful work. He led a root and branch review of how the City delivered services leading to an innovative programme of change in the way both public services were managed and delivered opening up new markets to the trading organisations and the largest private sector collaboration with public services in the UK. Steven had executive responsibility for an annual budget of 2.4 Billion pounds, 38,000 staff, Chaired the Council’s Cabinet structure and Senior Management Team.
A moderniser and a pragmatist, he is proud to have led and implemented radical changes to the way public services were and are delivered. Under his leadership, a ‘Team Glasgow’ approach was fostered, creating a strong day-to-day working relationship between public agencies and the private sector. The Clyde Valley collaboration was launched and developed paving the way for the City Deal that is now firmly established as part of the Governance and growth of the wider Greater Glasgow economy.
Steven is currently a Director and/or Board Member of, Twenty Ten Consultancy, Aspire Training, Digital Meet Ups Ltd, City Spark, Pollok Credit Union.
Previous Directorships and Chairmanships include, the SECC, Glasgow Cultural Enterprises Ltd, Nugensis, The Royal Concert Hall, Jobs and Business Glasgow, Scottish Enterprise, Clyde Waterfront UDC, Drumchapel Initative, Glasgow Townscape Heritage Initative, Cordia LLP, Glasgow 2014 Ltd and Sense Over Sectariaism.

You can follow Steven on twitter.


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Defences are an alternative metal quintet from Herts, UK

“…these guys have nailed the music behind her with hook-laden choruses, melodic and groove-ridden guitars and awesome beats and production flourishes here there and everywhere. Go check them out now, I can guarantee you won’t be disappointed!
– Elliott Stubbings, TKTwords
“Into awesome new metalcore, similar to Pierce The Veil or Sleeping With Sirens? Then check this fiery quintet out immediately.”
– Kerrang!
“London up-and-comers Defences are becoming “ones to watch” and their latest single, ‘Grow’ shows just why. With soaring and impressive vocals from Cherry Duesbury and a hint of American melodic post-hardcore, ‘Grow’ gives the young band plenty of potential.”
– Already Heard

Formed in Hertfordshire in 2013, Defences draws on electronic and stadium rock influences to offer a brand of alternative metal distinct from other alternative acts. The group provides a fresh take on the female-fronted metal genre, with frontwoman Cherry Duesbury’s voice being described by Kerrang!’s Alex Baker as “deliciously androgenous”. Having evolved the ethos behind the music with their upcoming album release, they also heavily emphasise positivity, acceptance and self-improvement in their sound.Following the release of their debut EP, “Stitches in Sanity” in early 2014, they began to grow a following through playing local London venues, selling all 500 physical copies of the EP in the process. During this time, they also released their first single, “Grow”, which received extensive radio play on stations such as BBC Radio 1 and Kerrang! Radio to name a few. This initial grind and press coverage has allowed them to work up to playing more prestigious shows with acts such as Sleepwave, Our Last Night and For the Fallen Dreams among others, in iconic venues such as Camden Barfly, The Underworld and The Garage.

Having taken a step back from live shows to focus on completing their debut album, mixed by Jeff Juliano (Twenty One Pilots, PVRIS) and mastered by Tim Debney (Razorlight, Iron Maiden), Defences are now back to gigging extensively and are aiming for an early 2017 release for their first LP.

The Eastern Swell

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The Eastern Swell



Some bands appear to arrive fully formed from the off. All their influences, musical stylings and concepts are in place, the flaws ironed out, right through to the final execution with every piece intact.

The Eastern Swell are one such beast. An Anglo-Scottish outfit, formed in Edinburgh in 2014, the final pieces of the jigsaw were the name change from Lainie & The Crows to The Eastern Swell and signing to Edinburgh’s Stereogram Recordings.

Produced by Pete Harvey (of Modern Studies, Meursault and King Creosote repute) in his own Pumpkinfield Studios, “One Day, A Flood” is an album ideally listened to right through as a whole in a single sitting. A proper album in the 60s/70s sense. Many of the tracks are linked together so that despite wide-scoping musical styles, there is an underlying cohesion.

Musically it spans many genres – folk, neo-psychedelia, pastoral-psych, punk, psych, prog and late 60s/70s rock can all be detected in places. There are some pretty interesting and tricky time signatures in there too, which add a math-rock element.

Factor in the Influences the band have cited when making the album which include Syd Barrett, mid-period Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Neil Young, Fairport Convention, King Crimson and Todd Rundgren through to more (relatively) contemporary artists such as the Pixies, Thee Oh Sees, Cat Power, Gillian Welch and Tame Impala and you get a heady brew indeed.

This all brings a refreshing eclecticism to the proceedings, as it flits from genre to genre, while the work of Dave Friedman and Kevin Parker proved an inspiration production-wise.

Thematically, “One Day, A Flood” is all about vulnerability and the frailties of being human. It’s quite dark in parts (“What’s Done Is Done” and “Run Down Country Palace”) but not without some rye smiles, and a touch of sweet joy in “Temples” (about the birth of guitarist and songwriter Chris Reeve’s first son).

Although the songs are sometimes very personal in nature, you could see the darker elements of the album as a wider reflection on the political/economic state of the world over the last few years. There’s some punky social commentary in there too (“Dancing Zombie Blues”) and all out paranoia via 60’s acid psychedelia in “1000 Yard Stare”. Meanwhile, lead off single “Rattling Bones” is about the fear of getting older, and the fragility of love.

Producer Pete Harvey has also added string arrangements to a number of tracks and his cello playing brings a somber beauty to the music.

You can find them on Bandcamp

And on Facebook

Those Unfortunates

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Those Unfortunates

Those Unfortunates are a London four-piece who write songs aiming for the wit and warmth of The Kinks, Television Personalities and Syd Barrett. The Servant/Saturday is their fourth single proper, and their second for Stereogram Recordings.

On The Servant, they visit another of their favourite themes – drawing from the Harold Pinter-screenplayed, Joseph Losey-directed film of the same name, starring Dirk Bogarde, James Fox, Wendy Craig and Sarah Miles. A 60’s classic, alongside Losey’s others with Bogarde – Victim and Accident, this release finds Those Unfortunates in a slightly darker place than previous release, the chirpy yet literate Letter Writing Man.
The intro is reminiscent of Television in their Brian Eno-produced demos on the Double Exposure bootleg from 1974. In certain places there are echoes of neo-psychedelia in places, akin to The 13th Floor Elevators. At others they are back at home in Television Personalities’ mode, but at their most desperate sounding, circa The Painted Word. My Dark Places indeed.

On a brighter note – and in the spirit of Syd Barrett, Saturday evokes the dark side of Madness’s London – ‘Grey Day’ etc – a snapshot of what that day of the week is really like for most folk. Coffee in the clubhouse and a flutter on the horses set to a sparse arrangement which evokes fond memories of such DIY legends as Swell Maps and The Desperate Bicycles. The repetition of the line ‘the sun is shining outside’ only emphasises the tedium of it all for the central character, as he watches the world from his window.

Those Unfortunates wear herringbone coats and oxblood shoes without ever really managing to look rakish. They are self-deprecating, for the most part, and self-contained.

Those Unfortunates could have been renaissance men, but they never had the French. For the purposes of this biography, however, they have rather narrow tastes, and enjoy the authors Alexander Baron, Patrick Hamilton and Colin MacInnes.
Both of the band’s previous singles have received repeat plays from BBC 6 Music DJs including Steve Lamacq, Gideon Coe and Tom Robinson, who described them as ‘daft and irresistible… [with] the lightness of touch and complete assurance found among all genuine Great British Eccentrics.” They have also performed a live session on Resonance FM.

In 2015, they played the final gig at the (squatted) 12 Bar Club on Denmark St, before the police moved in. They’ve also hosted Unlondon, a free festival of music, art and literature inspired lost, unloved and forgotten London. In January 2016, they also put on Those Unfortunates’ Own Double Entry, an esoteric celebration of optimism and positive action which featured their friends, Firestations, along with socialist magic. They recently headlined the Aaahhwhoo Festival just outside Berlin, as they have done for the last four years.

Their debut album is expected early 2017.

You can follow them on Facebook

Or find out more on their website

St Christopher Medal

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St Christopher Medal

When the Scotpop 4-piece Life With Nixon signed off for good in August of 1998 at Sleazy’s in Glasgow, it seemed like the end of something special. Time had run out on Britpop – too many bands, not enough ideas. Getting less young and less stupid, time had also run out on the Nixon’s own brand of ‘sloppy energy’. They did a lot in 5 years, squeezed a lot of goodwill out of two EPs and a million shows, but even the best bands split up eventually – it happens.

But things don’t always stay where they’re put. A full 17 years later, Ali and Kenny Mathieson, Billy Nisbet and David Mack, all four Nixons from that night at Sleazy’s, released “Sunny Day Machine”, the wonderful debut album by St Christopher Medal on Stereogram Recordings. Along with newbie Andy Jeffries on piano (Ali’s roommate from university in the late ’80’s!), St Christopher Medal make music that is full to the brim with 17 years of life, love, kids, jobs and the whole history of rock n roll. Ali, who writes the songs and sings them, teaches in a high school in rural Perthshire – Kenny, his brother and ace guitarist, spins vinyl at The Dead Rabbit in Upper Manhattan where he lives. Billy, David and Andy play bass, drums and piano in Perth, Teeside and Dorset respectively. Makes practicing difficult. Gigs are rare and valuable things. You’ve got to really want to be in a band like St Christopher Medal!

But “Sunny Day Machine” is a record that none of them could have made in their 20’s. It’s energy comes from long friendship. From deep love of Music, from C86 to the classic Country Rock of The Stones and the Flying Burrito Brothers. None of it dimmed for even a moment. Teenage Fanclub. The Hold Steady. Dylan. The songs are denser, more complete. They’re about life – growing up, surviving over time, dreams, children – and they’re sad and funny. The record was made in six days of being together (years of gigging paying off in deeply unexpected ways) followed by two years of head-scratching. It is the sound of a band who can’t stop being a band, even when being in a band makes no practical sense.
Sometimes the best things in life make no sense at all. “Sunny Day Machine” is a statement of intent. After 24 years of playing together, St Christopher Medal are finally getting started.

You can follow them on Facebook

Derek From Dublin

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Derek Stewart Macpherson


Ah, who’d be a traveller? The great adventures are all behind us now, and yet there are always some who set out to travel hopelessly and fail to arrive. The desire to boldly go, etc. is still strong in some. I was one such would-be adventurer, but my tale is not one of derring-do. It is the story of how high drama can so easily turn to high farce, and a salutary reminder that on the road things are rarely what they seem.
No longer greenhorn backpackers at the age of 22, and on our third overseas expedition, my partner Gayle and I were finding Europe tame and far too well trodden What we craved was a sense of adventure, danger even, and to get off the tourist track. I knew there were places that tourists didn’t go to, because I came from one. In the library we found what we needed – information that it was still possible to travel through Iran to Pakistan. The year was 1987, and the (First) Gulf War was still in full swing. Everyone we told about our plans en route said we were crazy, so we became convinced we were on the right track.
As we lacked all but the most basic travel information about the country we started to look out for travellers coming the other way, as you do, as we hung around Istanbul, but it soon became clear that no-one was doing it. We had all but given up when we bumped into Dave, a laconic Australian with an unfortunate stammer (“Got any oh – oh – oh – opium?” he would continually ask strangers, in a country where it’s dangerous enough to say it once) who filled us in on basic currency, hotel and transport details.
We encountered no other person who had come from Iran, despite spending over a month in Turkey, so it still seemed a relatively adventurous thing to attempt when we set off, the day the wind started to blow, the Wind of a Hundred and Twenty Days, the Loo. I once heard, in Australia, of an elderly lady from Southern Italy who wouldn’t accept that the hot wind was not the Sirocco, despite many attempts to explain to her that it was a North Westerly coming off the top end. Well it’s the same wind, only this one is a South Easter, and it’s coming off the deserts of Rajasthan, Baluchistan and Sind. Anyway, the wind began to blow and the sun came out, for the first time since our arrival in Dogubayazit almost a week before, and we were already perspiring by the time we reached the bus stop.
Once safely ensconced in the minibus which would take us to the border, we relaxed and contemplated the day ahead. We had wondered if we would be the only westerners crossing the border that day, and it looked as though we would be, until just as the bus was about to leave, a huge, shambolic figure rounded the corner at the end of the street. Derek, from Dublin, for it was he, had a skinhead haircut which made him look quite fearsome, but inside was a frightened eighteen year old boy desperate for approval. The haircut was the responsibility of a Turkish barber. Turkish barbers give excellent value for money.
Once the bus left, Derek from Dublin talked nineteen to the dozen all the way to the border, telling us how this crossing was going to be the highlight of his trip, how hard and easy it would be, how glad he was to have found us, as he couldn’t have done it alone, and how an Irish passport was the best in the world, as everybody loves the Irish, and the Ayatollah probably had an Irish grandmother anyway (doesn’t everyone?). I made the mistake of telling him, truthfully, that Bobby Sands was a bit of a cult hero (cult of the martyr that is) in Iran, and was unable to prevent him from dropping Bobby’s name with every Iranian he subsequently met.
We soon realised that his bravado was all bluster, and that he was in fact quite terrified. It was hard to imagine at first how someone occupying such a massive frame got to be so afraid, but so it was. We reached the border post, and after dispensing with a few brief formalities with the friendly Turkish border guards, passed into a large room, divided by two long, parallel, marble-topped tables of stone, and not much else, where illuminated portraits of Khomeini and Ataturk scowled at each other across the expanse between the doors on either side. The Ayatollah wore that paranoid, disapproving, ‘what are you up to?’ look he so often did, as he fixed Mustapha Kemal with his hostile, narrow-eyed gaze, and the Father of the Turks glared haughtily and scornfully back, as if to say, “How dare you presume to challenge me, you ignorant savage!” One senses that some great, silent ideological battle of the titans is taking place in this fly infested room, as the man who banned the veil, and the man who made it compulsory, attempt to stare each other down.
Just to one side of the Ayatollah was a small stand displaying a few handicrafts and some impressive posters of Iranian soldiers marching on the Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem, “Imam” Khomeini (the use of the term is somewhat controversial in Islamic theological circles) breaking the chains of the oppressed masses by stepping on them (the chains that is, not the masses, although some of you may choose to see some irony here), etc. We waited in this room for about an hour, being regaled with more stories of his trip, and views on life in general from Derek, our passports having been spirited away somewhere behind the locked door on the Iranian side.
Suddenly, a man appeared holding aloft two Australian passports, and we dived for the door. “Great,” we thought, “we’ve lost Derek from Dublin!” His passport had not been returned with ours. Once through the door, we examined our passports which had already been stamped, a man said “Welcome!” and we were directed down a long dark corridor.
“OK,” we thought, “which one of these doors do we go through to have our five hour search like the book says?” Not this, not that… Eventually we passed all the doors, and could see light at the end of the passageway. We walked towards it, turned a corner and were out! We were out in the sunlight, people were milling around, taxis waiting. We couldn’t believe it. Our delight was short-lived, however, as Derek from Dublin soon emerged from another exit. There had only been a slight delay with his passport, and we were stuck with him again. Now his problems really started. He had no money. Nobody had told him that you have to use the black market in Iran, and that this required you to have cash dollars to exchange. We had heard this from Dave in Istanbul, and I raced around the city on the morning of our departure, trying to find the one branch of ‘Is Bankasi’ in the whole of the city that would give me a couple of hundred greenbacks. In Dogubayazit, we had exchanged some of them at a rate of 700:1. We later got 1000:1 in Teheran. The official rate at Iranian banks was 70! When Derek heard the bad news, he couldn’t bring himself to change a traveller’s cheque at the border post Bureau de Change, so we paid for the taxi to where we could catch a bus.
On arrival we found that this was in fact the Customs check point, a mile or two down the road. We found our way into a crowded and noisy room, with countless chador-clad women sitting on piles of baggage, and lots of people trying to push their way to the front of the scrum. Then, a very small man appeared, in a very large and ostentatious hexagonal peaked cap. He was a dead ringer for Colonel Gadaffi, both in appearance and bearing. Now we’ll get some action, I thought, but no, he strutted stiffly past us, hardly giving us a second glance. Eventually we were spotted by the customs officials, who had been there all along, but were in plain clothes, and ushered beyond the partition ahead of all the valiantly scrimmaging Iranians and Turks. One of the officials gave the bags a fairly cursory inspection. Derek from Dublin perspired profusely as they passed over his Turkish police baton, his big evil looking chain, etc., and returned them all without comment. Whilst all this was taking place, Gayle was accosted by a young man who wanted us to travel to Teheran on ‘his’ bus, which was right outside the door and about to leave. We assumed he must be the driver, and, on completion of the formalities, followed him to a Turkish bus which turned out to be full of returning Iranians. The man, and another young Iranian, who turned out not to be bus drivers as suspected, but merely passengers, employed some persuasive arguments, and we elected to travel with them. Derek from Dublin exchanged six dollars, the only cash he had, with a nice young Iranian woman returning to visit her family. In another life she was a bus driver in Stockholm.
It was about 1pm when we commenced our journey to Teheran, a journey which would last until the following morning. It was immediately apparent that there was a jovial, holiday atmosphere on the bus. The passengers had been together since Istanbul, and laughed and joked with each other in the easy manner of old friends. They were a very westernised bunch of Iranians, though such, contrary to our expectations, were not in short supply, at least in the cities. The two young men spoke good English, and kept us informed and entertained throughout the journey. In the first eight or so hours, there were numerous police checks, revolutionary guard checks and searches.
During one of these, when everyone had to leave the bus, the woman who had changed Derek’s money stood up to alight, only to see two cassettes of western music fall noisily to the floor from underneath her coat. The whole bus winced. They all knew about the tapes, which she had already managed to get through several searches. It would have been extremely comical were it not so tragic. Happily, however, these were the ‘People’s’ police, not the ‘Khomeini’ police, or Revolutionary Guards as they are known in the west, and the quick-witted young woman was able to come to an arrangement which enabled her to hang on to not only the subversive cassettes, but also the substantial collection of fashion and knitting magazines she had subsequently been forced to reveal. It would be absolutely scurrilous of me to suggest that money changed hands. Incidentally, knitting magazines are much more useful, to a fashion starved, middle class Iranian woman, than Vogue or Cosmo, because although the fashions contained therein may not be exactly haute couture, their practicality resides in the fact that they contain instructions to actually make the things!
By this time, the Iranians seemed to have Derek from Dublin down as something of a figure of fun. They teased him mercilessly about his weight, for instance, in a much less subtle way than a native English speaker might have done. One suggested that he would have to pay for two seats, “Because your bodee is veree fat!” Gayle could verify this, as she was obliged to sit in the ever decreasing space next to him. Throughout the journey he regaled us with sweeping statements like, “This is the highlight of my trip! This is the worst day of my life! This is heavy! This is terrible! This is great!” He spoke of how he would go to the Irish embassy the next morning, where he would be welcomed with open arms and served bacon and eggs. He reasoned that they would have so few visitors from the old country that they could not fail to be delighted to see him. I explained to him that bacon was out of the question in a strict Islamic country like Iran, but little suspected that Derek from Dublin’s prophecy of breakfast at the embassy would shortly be fulfilled.
Shortly after sunset the bus reached Tabriz, and Derek from Dublin took the opportunity to purchase a melon, something he had been talking about since he had first observed them at a roadside stop. It had taken him this long to nerve himself to attempt the transaction. It was a twelve kilogram korpus, a pale green, vegetable marrow shaped watermelon. It was about eighteen inches long. This monstrosity travelled for some time on the bus with us, and was the subject of much hilarity amongst the other passengers. By this time Gayle and I had managed to find a seat together and Derek from Dublin was now slotted in, quite naturally it seemed, beside the other crazy in the company. He seemed a most eccentric individual, and was known to the passengers only as “Haji,” because they knew he had come from the pilgrimage at Mecca and was now returning to his family wearing twenty two trilby hats from Istanbul.
By and by we stopped at a restaurant, and everyone went in to eat chicken kebab, one of the three dishes then available in Iran (don’t y’know there’s a war on old chap?), except for Derek from Dublin, who marched in clutching his korpus, produced a plastic tray, refused all cutlery apart from a carving knife, cut himself and several others large slices, and prepared to gorge. He ate his melon rather as you’d imagine a gorilla might, if gorillas ate melons, noisily and sloppily, with juice flying everywhere (he himself was covered in it), and with great gusto. We looked around, feeling extremely embarrassed. Then came a moment of sheer, unadulterated mortification – Derek from Dublin lowered his head to the table, grasped the tray with both hands and slurped the juice noisily from it. We ordered the chicken kebab and sidled away quietly.
By the time we reached Teheran things were coming to a head. Gayle and I were by this point completely exasperated with Derek from Dublin, and wished only to be rid of him, but he was in a state of panic, as he now faced decisions about money, accommodation, etc. which he was ill-equipped to make, although the quality of his decision making was a matter of mainly academic interest, as he was in a no-win situation. He decided to tag along with us, in the hope that we would look after him. As neither of us had the heart to cast him adrift, we were obliged to do so.
The young man who had invited us onto the bus lived in Teheran and now offered to guide us to a hotel we had identified in our somewhat outdated guidebook. It was one of the cheaper ones, for Derek’s benefit (we knew that the best hotel in Teheran was well within our budget due to the extreme profitability of black market foreign currency transactions in Iran), and used to be the overlanders’ hotel in the days of the hippie trail. After an incident where I was almost killed when Derek from Dublin just had to get a picture of something on the other side of the taxi in which we were travelling, we arrived at the address in the book. When we found the hotel, it appeared to have been comprehensively sacked. A once graceful art deco building, it was now derelict and deserted, with all its windows smashed.
By this time Derek from Dublin was in a state of near apoplexy. He decided he must return to Turkey immediately. This was going to be a bit of a problem, as the transit visa he had obtained in Ankara was a ten day, one way ticket, exit at Zahedan on the Pakistani border. Having been foiled at the Amir Kabir Hotel, for that had been its name, Gayle and I took stock of our situation and realised the following:
1. The hotel had been wrecked, quite possibly precisely because it had been much frequented by westerners, so there might be little point in seeking a similar alternative.
2. Money will protect you from just about anything, almost anywhere, if you have enough.
3. Due to the aforementioned black market, we were now technically rich.
We elected to go to the Royal Gardens five star hotel at which, we understood, double rooms were available for roughly five bucks US. We took Derek from Dublin along for want of something better to do with him. We paid once more for the short taxi ride there, less than a dollar, but it would have cost Derek ten. When we arrived, we organised a room whilst Derek made a lengthy and animated phone call to the Irish embassy. He returned proclaiming, “I’m history! They’re coming around for me in ten minutes.”
Whilst Gayle and I were being shown to our room, revelling in the fact that there was a porter to carry the bags, the first time we had encountered such a luxury, the Irish diplomats came and whisked Derek from Dublin away. That was the last we ever saw of him. He had turned the anticipated drama of our Iranian border crossing into a complete farce. I suspect that the Irish, having spoken to him, feared that he might become a huge diplomatic incident, and hastened to get him somewhere they could keep an eye on him before he did something really silly.

But, after all, he did get to have breakfast at the Irish embassy.