A Statement from the BBC
The BBC unequivocally apologises for any insult, hurt, stress, trauma,abuse,affrontery,derision,discourtesy,disrespect,ignominy,impertinence,impudence,incivility, insolence, offense, outrage, rudeness, shame or slander that any of our viewers may have felt or felt subject to, think they felt, either real or not or felt they felt in any way conscious or subconscious either mentally spiritually or other dimensionally.
Any offence to persons fictional or non-fictional, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, asexual or nonsexual perceived for whatever it was we unintentionally or inadvertently said or aired on any one of our TV, radio or iPlayer channels was not intended. Furthermore we would like to apologise if any the words we have used in this statement does not cover any level of political correctness that you feel we got incorrect. We strive to achieve the highest standards in being morally superior and apologies if we are wrong and also when we are right if you feel us being right is wrong. If you do not feel we are wrong or right and object to this apology then we are sorry. If you were not insulted by anything we have broadcast and now are aggrieved by this apology then we apologies for the apology. Whatever it is we have done wrong to anyone’s political, religious, atheist or agnostic perspective, we assure you that an enquiry will be undertaken at no expense spared to our licence fee payers and whatever lessons learned will be acted upon until the next time any individual, group, minority, nation or continent feels aggrieved then another enquiry will be implemented at even greater expense and lessons learned and acted upon until such time that everything we do as a corporation is both right and wrong to absolutely everyone and no one on earth.
(disclaimer) : This Statement does not apply to Scotland.