By Willie Miller’s Moustache (@williemillersM1 on Twitter/X)
I went on a massive “everything is fucked and we have no way of influencing” it rant the other day. I had been drinking, obvs and I was expanding on my time since I stopped sending the SNP money in early 2020. We had won an enormous fuck off landslide and it mattered not one toss.
I unloaded a whole pile of impotent rage at being passengers in a car driven by ****s, up to 2019 and then bastard murdering clowns thereafter. When it actually mattered. And thousands died and billions were stolen and we are still just as fucked now as we were in Dec 2019.
If not, in fact, more so with the SC ruling, the Internal Market Act and Queen Nic getting arrested for expending on a lady razor. So I, politically engaged, and relatively well informed but gassed and morose, unloaded all my angst and pent up ffs-edness on my Labrador.
Which was unfair. Stay with me… PLEASE.
Ashamed, and determined to make amends I took him for a walk and thought a first step might be to read a book. I listen to the pod, so I acquired “What can I do” by Alastair Campbell.
It was utter, utter flaps. The 1st half analysis of why things are fucked was OK, but the rest was self-absolving, tiny minded, fuckwit at every conference you go to, positive mental attitude, eat fruit, I didn’t lie about Iraq fucking arse-biscuits.
Complete failure to operate or think anywhere except within the established 2 party FPTP system, an absolute waste of my life.
But then what are we doing? I have no time for the UDI indy magic wand, fuckwittery. I don’t blame them but we need to leave with consent and their participation, so the only way to do this is make the rUK want rid of us.
We’re at the clincher… well done for staying with me so far. This is the boozed up, but fucking ultimate genius plan…
They’ll never let us ask the question when we might win a referendum and it will never be convenient for a UK gov to be the ones who killed off the last of the empire. If Labour get a majority and the SNP don’t (or do it doesn’t matter to them) win big, then they’ll legislate across us. Make Indy impossible by law and cement in the SLab grifters like Alexander and Harris forever.
So I think we (Team Yes) need to act before the election, probably late 2024, more likely Jan 2025 so they can steal the last packet of biscuits and bathrobes from No,10.
So, the question is…how do we make the rUK political, media & wider public fucking hate Scotland and the Scots? Believe me… this is the way.
What can we do to make the otherwise decent if disinterested middle England and Norf LAAAANDAAAAN opinionators fucking loathe the ground we walk on and want rid?
As much as I fucking hate them, as much as I would, given the opportunity wear my fist down to the elbow on the Albino Orangutan’s face and balls just for the shit he put my family through during Covid: as much as I depsise his successors, the pricks, grifters and imbeciles who form the UK Government;
I think the SNP should stand aside and we should deliver them… the Boris-Rees-Truss wank dribble lot, a landslide here. See how NuNuLabour and James O’Brien like that shit.
See if Keir was right all along that the path to Number 10 is indeed through Scotland. Just not for you, son of the toolmaker, brexit cretin, Murdoch tart and power hungry whore.
Probably shouldn’t have voted for both the TCA and Internal Martket Act hmmmmmmmmmm?
-But you arseholes! Superstanskii/Carole Vorderman/What used to the Remainiacs will cry, -these people are bastards!!!!
-We know, that’s why we haven’t voted for them for 70 years!
Until now.
-But WE in Hingyland didn’t vote for them!!!
-Shite isn’t it? Probably shouldn’t have voted for them the last 4 times either then huh?
It will hurt. People you like will despise you. You will look at the TV and see an arsehole of gargantuan proportions doing something horrific in government and in your name and for the first time in as long as you can remember, it will be you who put the chopper there.
But, at the next election after that (assuming we all live through another Tory term of office) we won’t need to request an s30. We won’t need to make the case. They’ll hand us the keys and fuck off in a big car like they did with Hong Kong and the Suez Canal.
This is the way.
Let them blame US for a change and with the agency to get rid of us and prevent a sweaty sock from ruining the great English democracy show from being just the way they like it again, I think we’re home free by 2030.
Sorry, I did say that I have been drinking again and for this evening, you are playing the part of my Labrador. But tell me why this shot and chaser fuelled sweaty dream of an idea won’t work?
