Indybag: “A Modern-Day Scot’s Guide to Not Being a Muppet on the Internet“
So, you’ve finally realised that the corporate behemoths fucking hate you, but want your money and have an unending appetite for your personal data.
Good fer you.
You’ve heard the whispers about Signal, the one-horse race for privacy in the digital age- the messaging service that keeps your shit private, and now you want to join the club. Welcome. Don’t worry, it’s not as complicated as they make you think. The first thing you’ll need is a phone number. Aye, a phone number. They haven’t quite managed to rid themselves of that antiquated notion yet. It’ll come. And they’ve introduced a privacy hack for that.
Look… don’t be scared. It’s easier to use than WhatsApp, Facebook messenger and those poisonous, thieving arseholes stealing your life. Read on and get yer act together.
Getting Started: A Simple, Unpleasant Reality
First, download the app. Or get your we’an to do it for you. It’s a freebie, which is a rare thing these days. Once it’s on your phone, you’ll be asked to register with your phone number and create a profile. Don’t worry, this isn’t a dating app; the profile is just a name and, if you fancy it, a wee picture to let others know you’re not a spam bot. It’s not a permanent identifier. I use a picture of ma’ hat.
Your phone number is the key, but it’s a key that you can hide. You can now use a username instead of your number to find others, a recent and welcome change. It’s a bit like a secret handshake: you have to know someone’s exact username to find them. This prevents anyone from just fishing through a directory of names like they were looking for a phone number in a dusty old book.
To find your mates, the app will, with your permission, scour your phone’s contact list. Anyone you know who has already seen the light and downloaded Signal will magically appear. If they haven’t, you can, with a faint air of superiority, send them a link to get on board.
Why You Should Ditch the Corporate Muggers…
Now, let’s talk about the big bad mugging wolves you’re leaving behind: WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, and, for the Apple devotees, iMessage. They all make a lot of noise about “end-to-end encryption,” and it’s a lovely little phrase, isn’t it? It means that, in theory, only you and the person you’re speaking to can read the message. But here’s the trick: encryption is just one part of the story. The real danger lies in the metadata.
Think of it like this: WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger are the kind of neighbours who stand at the window all day. They can’t hear what you’re saying, but they’re meticulous in writing down who came to your house, when they arrived, how long they stayed, and even which rooms you were in together. They collect your phone number, your IP address, your device information—everything that paints a perfect picture of your social circle and habits. This is the data they sell, the information they use to build a profile of you to bombard you with adverts for things you never knew you needed.
Signal, by contrast, is a stubborn old man who lives down the lane and keeps to himself. It uses a feature called “Sealed Sender” which hides who is sending and receiving a message. Signal’s servers know a message was sent, but they don’t know who sent it or who received it. It’s a level of privacy that the others simply cannot or will not offer, because their entire business model is built on surveillance.
Then there’s the matter of being open source. This is a dry, technical term, but it’s the bedrock of the whole fucking shebang. It means that Signal’s code, the very language it’s written in, is out there for anyone to inspect. Not just a handful of company-approved chaps, but anyone—hackers, security experts, even bored university students. They can all poke, prod, and verify that there are no hidden backdoors, no secret little loopholes for a government agency or a rogue employee to sneak through. WhatsApp and iMessage are a locked black box. You have to take their word for it, and given their track record, that’s as pish as believing fucking Tar-me Yaxley-Lennon Rob-you-son…
And look- if you are any level of activist still planning (even low level, small stuff) on Whatsapp, Messenger, iMessage and the likes, in this day and age YOU are placing your friends, family and comrades in danger, as well as your self. Wise. Fucking. Up. ICE, in the USA for example, don’t guess- they act on data bled- sucked- stolen- conned and mugged from phones.
In the end, it all comes down to trust. Do you trust a multi-billion pound corporation, whose very existence relies on monetising your life, to keep your conversations private? Or do you trust a non-profit foundation, run on grants and donations, whose sole purpose is to provide secure communication? The choice, once you look at it in the cold light of day, isn’t much of a choice at all. Now get it fucking done and spread the word- and the freedom.
